Burnout

Pros • Awesome crashes • Racking up a million dollars worth of damage over the course of a race • High speed racing through busy traffic • Encourages nutso driving • The bad music responds to gameplay situations • The Burn button and effect are cool	Cons • Makes up for real depth with timed, checkpoint to checkpoint racing • Traffic is scripted, and always the same • No control customization • Only two driver's views
Bottom Line Burnout encourages everything they tell you never to do when in the driver's seat. It's also, by the way, good indication of why they tell you that. Though not deep enough to really hold your interest, it's tons o' fun for a time. Did your grandfather ever tell you the wise old story about that stagecoach company hiring drivers? Seems the one question on this particular wild-west interview to the three cowboys who showed up was, "If you were driving my stagecoach, how close could you come to the edge of this here cliff face?" Well, without a moment's pause to consider, it seems, the first young hot-shot leaps into the driver's seat, "Yaaa!"s and whips the horses to a gallop, and tears up the narrow path, swerving one wagon wheel to within six inches of the yawing precipice that threatens a half-minute's free fall acceleration to terminal velocity and a very sudden, bone shattering thud on the valley floor; so far below, that it would give Wile E. Coyote himself pause. "That's pretty close, says the interviewer," as the young hot-shot steps down, "Whoop!"s a hollar and waves his hat to the onlooking terrified and impressioned, swooning young ladies in bonnets. "T'aint nothing!" calls the second cowboy, springing to the driver's seat, and whipping the nervous, sweaty horses to a gallop, spinning them around and back towards the precipice. Somehow, this driver manages to race so close to the edge that half the time it seems that the outside wheel is spinning not from the speed of the galloping horses, but with vertigo, for it is hanging half over the cliff. "Phew! pardner, now that's close," acknowledges the old cowboy conducting the interview/test as this second cowboy reigns up the horses with pride in front of him to the cheers of the eyes-aflutter ladies with their dainty wrists to their sweaty foreheads. Then, as all eyes turn to the third person who shows up for the job, a laid back cowpoke, lounging against a rail--how will he ever top that?--he cooly turns to spit a jawful of tobacco at a passing horned toad. "How about you sir?" asks the weathered old cowhand? "Well sir, don't reckin I even need to show you, but if I was driving your stagecoach, I wouldn't come within ten yards of that there cliff face. I'd drive as far on the other side of the road as I possibly could. Of course, in your grandfather's story, in Driver's Ed., that third cowboy gets the job, and probably occasion to ask the Pa's of the dainty young ladies for permission to court them, while the two hot-shots beat their hats and hang their heads in shame. "Aw, shucks!" Well, let me tell you, in Burnout that crazy second cowboy gets the driver's seat; And how!. This game encourages the most wreckless (beating Microsoft and Bunkasha games to the punch) driving, rewards it, and then celebrates it with spectacular, thundering hundred-mile-per-hour collisions. Hoooo Baby!

Careening around a corner, you mash the accelerator and steady the wiggle out of your fishtailing rear end, hit high gear and well over one-hundred and twenty miles per hour down the freeway. You swerve side to side, cutting inches in front of a city bus, a taxi, and then a big rig, fuel truck/bomb on wheels, just 'cuz you can. "Near Miss" flashes on the screen each time and your "Burn" gauge powers up a little.

You wait, seemingly, too long to turn and then throw your car into a power slide around the corner, ending up on the wrong side of the road, where you continue, gaining more "Burn" gauge for each foot you power slide, each new "Near Miss," and each second driving into oncoming traffic. You're power sliding, playing chicken and swerving within inches of disaster at every opportunity, when finally, the "Burn" gauge is full and you pull the shoulder button to activate it, and the simulated acceleration actually throws you back into your seat. The music is covered by a heart-pounding--literally--sound effect, the world fades to a soft blur and the speedometer needle is flexing with exertion as it tries desperately to push past the pin that limits its travel; Then...

WHAM! the jar of the collision is so real that you nearly fall off the couch, and you check for whiplash as you watch the three-times replay repeated come to rest in a crumpled heap of smashed metal and broken glass.

"Ooooh! Baaay-bee, that's gotta hurt!"

Respawn and you're off again...

Sounds fun, no?

Brilliant even.

Why then only 7.5 out of 10?

Because I'm a stinky curmudgeon of a reviewer for one thing.

For those of you who need justification, Burnout does have stunningly exciting gameplay, and if you judge a game by the animation and level of vociferation of the players, this is an outstanding success; And it is outstanding, it's just not really very deep. I mean, there's a gas button and a brake button; Colin McRae Rally this ain't. There aren't many tracks or cars. All vehicles are unlicensed "Muscle," "Saloon," "Bus" generica, and lacking a rich career mode like, say Gran Turismo 3, the game compensates with time-based checkpoint racing which eliminates any ability to explore and experiment with really extreme crashes, which might be entertaining in its own right since the crashes can be so spectacular and the game includes the ability to save replays for later viewing. While admittedly, keeping the pressure on, checkpoint racing also lets the developers off the hook as far as competitor AI goes, because the supposed criteria of having to finish the race in a specific position (1st, 2nd or 3rd) is effectively a red herring since if you're going fast enough to make the checkpoints, you are ahead of enough other racers to qualify for the next race. Racers are also limited to specific paths even though other roads--blocked off--do make appearances and beg exploration.

And the traffic, oh, let us talk about the traffic. Racing through the traffic of Burnout is incredible fun; just like you imagined it as a kid staring out the mini-van windows as your Mom dawdled along in the slow lane, and then again as you imagined at home with your Hot Wheels; whipping in and out of lanes, dodging cars, fiery crashes, all of it; It's all there, and it's all fun. They even keep track of how many thousands, or millions as the case may be, dollars insurance damage you have done by, just for example, careening, four wheels adrift through an intersection, ricocheting off a big rig, bouncing off two luxury cars and rolling over a sub-compact before coming to rest atop a taxi--and that's just one of the many crashes you'll be having over the course of a typical rip-roaring traffic riddled race. Unfortunately, said traffic is scripted, so once you learn where there is traffic and where there is not, you will win the races every time. Zero replayability, which would have been infinite had that traffic been randomized.

And the music--Oh lame generic arcade music as ever there was, which I have a sneaking suspicion is produced on the louder other side of the perfidious office from wherein muzak is piped into shopping malls and elevators; one pipe to the malls and elevators, one pipe to arcade game developers' offices--though it does cooly respond to game situations, getting ever more excited as time runs down on you. Nice finishing touch on an ugly aspect. Still, credit where credit is due, right?

But, OH!, it is fun for a little while, and the first racing game that really encourages you to get your ya-yas out.

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