Grand Theft Auto 3

Pros • Unprecedented level of detail • Detailed graphics • Excellent driving model • Wealth of play options • Fun, ultra-sleazy storyline	Cons • Pesky load times • Screwy save system
Bottom Line Brilliant, just [censored] brilliant. Capiche? So good it’s criminal. If you’ve got the time, GTA3 has the crime. Do not, we repeat, do not waste precious seconds reading this review. There’s a brave new underworld out there, and it is calling. Bludgeon, stab, throttle, hustle, con... whatever it takes, make sure you get a copy of this game.

Felonies are a beautiful thing. Actually, in reality, they're oftentimes brutal, gritty and trauma-inducing. Still, Rockstar Games has done the unthinkable, turning murderous greed into an honest to God art form with Grand Theft Auto 3. Much more than a mere 3D makeover, the latest installment of this seedy action-adventure truly puts the sin back in crime syndicate. And, Lord knows, a little fear back into the hearts of Mid-western mom and pop duos. For that, we say "Amen." Or, "Get on the ground and hand over that wallet, mother@$#*!"

Violence pays big bucks when you're a law-a'breaking citizen of Liberty City. Almost any imaginable crime can be pulled in what is without a doubt the most convincingly living urban sprawl ever to grace a videogame. Like Sim City gone ghetto, you're looking at a fully three-dimensional world packed with dirty streets, random passers-by, commuter traffic and policemen cruising virtual beats. Cap a random citizen or carjack a cab to play Crazy Taxi mini-games; every illicit fantasy is kosher, and re-enacted convincingly for your perverse enjoyment. Amazingly, it's such a believable scenario that if thugs start playing whack-a-mole on some poor fool's head with Louisville sluggers in public, pedestrians call police or rush to the victim's aid.

Hence unaffiliated gangbangers can take the town for all it’s worth at their leisure, racking up a wanted rating that'd do Bonnie and Clyde proud. Those who yearn for acceptance and friends that speak loudly and hit people with big sticks might consider, uh... gainful employment, instead. Mafia, triad, small-time hustlers... everyone needs a go-to man, and you're open for business. Along your quest to catch up with a once-trusted buddy and old flame (and reacquaint them with that temper, one slug at a time), you'll meet more soulless hoodlums than the average high school teacher. All have interesting storylines, vicious motivations, professionally recorded spoken dialogue, and a mean streak a mile wide.

Whether bankrolled by rival gangs or not, missions range from interesting to outright addictive. Ice the pimp who's moving in on protected territory; plant car bombs so wiseguys get blown out of the frame; move a batch of hookers to the policeman's ball... each and every one's a winner. Furthermore, if you want a break, idle time between scenarios can be spent taking joyrides in any visible vehicle. Simply choose your preferred method of conveyance, be it sports car or passenger bus--dozens of roadsters are all available on the fly. In a word: spectacular.

Honestly, simple design quirks are the few flies in the proverbial ointment. One can only save when not pledged to a mission goal. Load times are a beast, though you won't notice unless restoring old data or flipping story segments. Certain objects can't be bashed, e.g. autos or buildings, and various people don't always respond to particular stimuli (fistfights in the middle of Main St.) when prompted. Otherwise, the design structure is executed smoothly, including a tutorial that essentially consists of pick up and play missions that get you right into the game.

Knowing that it does so much correctly, it would be sheer insanity to think the game could deliver on production values too. Welcome to coo-coo land then, nutcase. While objects and structures don't sport exceptional detail, cars look fantastic, crumpling and showing damage more realistically than in most demolition derby sims. Characters also sport a clean, polished look, though their animations aren't always impeccable. Regardless, it's hard to complain when you're flying down back alleys at 100MPH in a minivan, listening to a musical repertoire that's nothing short of incredible. Not only do all of the many radio stations available come off as believable, but the tunes--be they 80’s rock or hip-hop--will have your head swaying to the beat.

Unless you're a made man, it doesn't get realer than this. Grand Theft Auto 3 doesn't just represent the best PlayStation 2 gaming has to offer, it raises the bar so high for future criminal endeavors that Michael Jordan would require a footstool to reach it. No punches were pulled, no decencies spared. As a dark satire and social commentary, it works marvelously. As a game, well... let's just say Junior may have a little trouble explaining to Grandma why he's passing on med school in favor of the street pharmacist trade.

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